What a weekend!

I had a weak moment on Friday and agreed to go for a run at Bondi with Nathan on Saturday morning.... for fun! HE'S A PERSONAL TRAINER. What was I thinking?!! We started off together, then I sent him on his merry way to run ahead and pick me up on the way back! There was no point even trying to keep up! It was good though - we did about 6km.

Saturday night had dinner and a few wines with a girlfriend and then Sunday flew to Melbourne. My girlfriend picked me up from the airport and then took us off for a manicure and pedicure! It was such a nice surprise... an afternoon of pampering. Had dinner at the pub. Hmmmm chips. Haven't had chips in a while... they were good! But very naughty. Spent Monday at our Mt Waverley office. It was so good to see everyone - just like coming "home". Which I guess it was, cause I used to spend more time there than at my real home! Couldn't believe how easily I slipped back into old habits though. Got busy and forgot to have breakfast. Then went to the pub for lunch. Started off well... Diet Coke, grilled chicken with mushrooms... except it came with chips. I can say no to chips... unless they are on my plate in front of me. Twice in one weekend. That is so bad. Had a great time, but spent the plane trip back to Sydney sulking about my lack of willpower (there was chocolate involved Sunday night as well). Hopped on the scales this morning for a sneak preview - and I lost 100g. I seriously expected a 1kg gain. But no! Yay me! Back to the gym tonight....

Thank God it's Friday!!!

Bring on the weekend! I just want to go home tonight and do NOTHING! I need to do housework and washing, but I am going to do that in my PJs at home all by myself! Yay! Tomorrow night I have dinner with a girlfriend and then Sunday I fly down to Melbourne cause I have a meeting Monday morning. Staying with a girlfriend so that should be fun.

My arms are feeling better. But now I have sore legs! I have been doing PT for 20 weeks, and I still get sore after every session. Even though I love it I am looking forward to having 2 weeks over Christmas so I can not be in pain! I'll still run and maybe do a couple of pump classes though. Can't live without my exercise anymore!

Tiny Donna and Em battle it out....

... to hit 25kg lost! I have been challenged - and I accept! Lets see who can get to 25kg first – Donna has 3.4kg to go, and I have 4kg to go. It's a race!

On your marks, get set, go!!!!!!!

My body hurts :(

... well more specifically, my arms. They don't work so well after last night's PT session! As I am training 2 days in a row this week (instead of having a day in between) I did upper body last night, and tonight the legs will be tortured. This means that my arms did heavy weights (ie. boys weights) for a whole hour last night. I thought they were going to fall off! Tonight I have an hour of running, stairs, lunges and squats to look forward to.

I joined up on the calorie king website yesterday. I have been reading it for a while and think it has a lot to offer, so for $29 for a whole year I figured I had nothing to lose - except kgs! Similar to WW, you can enter your menu in and it calculates for you - except calorie king calculates calories, fat, protein, carbs etc. Much more useful I think. It seems I need about another 30g of protein a day. That's quite a bit. Might talk to Nathan about protein shakes or bars cause I don't really want to eat more meat or eggs. Can't have much more fat though (unless I cut out cheese from my lunch!) so need to find something high in protein with less than 3g of fat.

I'm a bit confused by the way it includes exercise though. It takes the calories you burn during exercise off your daily allowance – which means I would have to eat twice as much to get the calories it recommends. Doesn't really make sense to me, but it would probably help if I read through the information first!

Xmas Parties and Stuff

What a weekend! Oh my God it was hot in Melbourne. I landed on Saturday morning amongst alot of smoke... the bushfires are so bad. Spent Saturday with Mum and Dad and then we went out for dinner with a girlfriend and her husband. Had a great time. They hadn't seen me for about 5 months or so – so were a bit surprised by the new me! It was so good to see Mum and Dad. Only 2 weeks til Christmas and I am back home for 2 weeks – can't wait.

Sunday was the work Xmas party. Except for the fact that it was 42 degrees I had a great day. It was so great to see everyone. There wasn't even much alcohol consumed cause it was so hot – we all sat around drinking water until the cool change came through about 3pm. Very unusual for our xmas party! Went for a swim to cool off when we got home.

Here's a pic of me with two of my workmates...



Seeing that I didn't drink much over the weekend, ate healthily and sweated like you wouldn't believe, the scales are looking pretty good this week. Should get a 2kg loss this week if I keep going the way I am. Yay! It's been ages since I had a loss like that. So running tonight (got new shoes to try out, and my shins are feeling much better), personal training tomorrow, swimming Wednesday night. Then weigh-in Thursday morning - bring on 2kg!!! If I can do that, I'm still a chance for hitting the 25kg mark for Christmas.

I went swimming!

I have sore shins from running, so that's out. My trainer said not to do heaps of walking either. I so badly needed an alternative cause I couldn't not exercise given the week I have had. So I braved the pool! I have not been swimming in years and I had forggoten how much I love it. I did laps for about 30 mins and was surprised at how quickly I got puffed. So here I find a new challenge and a different form of exercise to keep me motivated. And the best bit is that I lost 300g.... so that little gain is GONE already!!!

Can't wait for the weekend. I'm flying to Melbourne tomorrow morning and Mum and Dad are picking me up from the airport. I haven't seen them in about 2.5 months – so hopefully they will see a big difference! I've got my work xmas party on Sunday, and my work mates haven't seen me for even longer so that will be exciting too. They'd better notice!

I'll report back on Monday with the results of the big reveal!

My first gain :(

I gained 200g this week. Not much in the scheme of things, but it is my first gain and I am devastated. I knew I wasn't doing well this week and I struggled to change it. This week sucks!

So time for some thinking. Why do I want to get to goal?
• I want to wear bathers
• I want to shop with my girlfriends and try on the same clothes as them
• I want to run 10km with Nathan at his pace, instead of 5km at my pace
• I want to go on 'active' holidays instead of worrying that I am not fit enough
• I want to do the Harbour Bridge climb
• I want to be hot – instead of the fat chick with the pretty face
• I want to be healthy
• I want to be confident and not self concious about my body

This is why I am doing this. I want to get there so bad!

I've come to confess....

my sins. I have made some REALLY bad food choices this week. I haven't been able to get back on track since the weekend. I've exercised, but haven't eaten very well. My main problem has been eating too much... and I haven't done that for 5 months. I had dinner last night and even though I wasn't hungry I ate more. And I don't know why. That's the worst bit – I don't even have an excuse! I HATE the feeling of being too full.

Today I am trying really hard to go back to normal eating. I've had porridge and yogurt for breakfast, a low fat raspberry muffin for a snack, lunch will be a salad, afternoon snack is a muesli bar and dinner a beef and vegie stirfry. That's it. No more. I'm also going to try get out of work a bit early so I can go for an 8km walk.

2 days til weigh in – I will lose weight this week.

Blow-out weekend

Whoops! Massive weekend. It all started with Friday night - my Personal Training xmas party. I expected that to be a big one, and it certainly didn't disappoint! I had an absolute ball. Drank too much champagne, however didn't eat any of the fried food that was being passed around. Although, in hindsight, I probably would have been better off eating something! Met lots of people who's names I cannot possibly remember, and had fun with those that I already know. Caught Nathan bragging about my 20kg loss to one of the other trainers - he was taking all the credit so I jumped in!

Saturday was very hungover. I attempted Oporto for lunch (yes I was feeling crap!), but that didn't help so only got through 3 chicken nuggets. By dinner time I was feeling much better though. Had Vietnamese with some friends and then went out for coffee afterwards. I couldn't say no to the chocolate and hazelnut mousse cake.

Sunday I went to a friend of a friend's housewarming. This proved difficult cause I needed to be back on track with my eating, except there were no healthy options. And I didn't know the people so it felt a bit uncomfortable. I ended up having 2 glasses of champagne and then went and helped myself to water. Had a bit of the cheese and bickies, but then tried to focus on something other than the food in front of me.

I couldn't face 3 days in a row with alcohol, fat food and no exercise so I went for a run/walk for an hour last night when I got home. Weighed myself this morning and have stayed the same. Guess I can't ask for anymore than that!

Fantastic weekend, but back into the healthy food/exercise thing today even though I could easily have a few more days off! I will not undo my hard work!

Cool t-shirts

Just found this great website which sells some very funny t-shirts.... www.lazybonesfitness.com
Here's my favs - I can't decide which one to get!

It's December already!

Yes that's right. December. Only 24 more sleeps til Santa comes. And between now and then there are numerous Christmas parties, bottles of wine and nibblies to get through! My plan is to have fun, but keep up the exercise so I can hopefully reduce some of the damage. I've got my PT xmas party tonight, and work xmas party next weekend. They'll be my two big nights out. After that I'll be on my best behaviour, cause I really, really, really want to do this.

Thinking about stuff

Was talking to my PT last night and he said that it was especially great that I am losing all this weight without my usual support network (they're in Melb, I'm in Syd). My first reaction was that actually it is easier cause I am away from most of the bad influences. I eat better, I drink less and I don't find excuses not to exercise. I am not surrounded by people trying to tempt be to make bad choices.

But walking home I started thinking about it a bit more. I am an emotional eater. As soon as something goes wrong, or I feel down, stressed or lonely I eat. Usually chocolate or something along those lines. If I am tired and can't be bothered cooking it would be take-away. But that is the one habit I have changed since moving to Sydney. I don't turn to food anymore cause I recognise that it is not going to help. I look at food differently now. It is fuel for my body – and if it is not going to help me then why eat it? (Don't get me wrong, I still have the occasional yummy treat). So to change my way of thinking at a time when I struggled emotionally the most is an achievement.

It is certainly alot easier now. I have made some great friends in Sydney who are all very supportive of my goals. But I did it – I did something hard (moving interstate) and stuck to my goals. Happy with that.

Found the most hideous before pic....

And thought I'd share it. How bad can you get! Anyway, the updates are much better. And yes - that's my favourite black cardi and I wear it alot!!!

New top

Here's one of the new tops I bought on Saturday. It's blue with little silver sparkly spots on it. And it cost me a whole $15!!! Bargain!!!

Need some motivation?

Well here it is. This little baby is 1kg of fat. Can you believe how many of these are packed into your body? Eeeewwwww! Totally disgusting! I am going to lose 27 more of these babies cause I don't want this in my body. How gross!!!

Back into the exercise

I went for a massive run last night – God it felt good! Went for an hour (I did walk some bits) and did hills and stairs and everything! I really pushed myself and came back sweating up a storm, but felt great. Legs were a bit sore last night though! Was sound asleep by 9pm - the first night in a while that I haven't had trouble getting to sleep. PT tonight - so gonna push myself even harder. Cause it feels good!!!!

Ups and downs

It is so easy to get caught up in how far you have come and forget about how far you have to go – or at least lose some of the motivation to get there. I went shopping on Saturday - bought size 14 shorts, and a size 12 top!!! The top will wait a few weeks before it gets an outing cause it will look heaps better then. So I was very motivated and happy. Then come Sunday morning I was lying in bed trying to convince myself that I had to go out for a walk. I had planned to do Spit to Manly (about 9km) but cause none of my friends were able to come I wasn't motivated to do it anymore. That is so not like me! I am usually keen to do these walks with or without my friends. I really had to convince myself to go and do something – I used the old "how bad do I want to get to goal" talk. I ended up going for a bike ride in the morning and a hills and stairs walk at Balmoral in the afternoon. But I had to force myself to do both.

I didn't bring my gym stuff with me today. Just not motivated to go. So I'm going to have to go for a run when I get home. I'll pick a track that goes far away from my house so I have to do the whole thing. None of this going around the local oval a couple of times cause I am in the mood to go around once and give up. I have PT tomorrow so that should get me back on track. I can't slack off then!


Here's the lovely Opera House. I love Sydney - it's so beautiful!!


Here's a pic of the view from the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I walked over to Pitt St on Saturday to go shopping - and walked home again as well!

What does 20kg feel like?

I just went to the gym and picked up a 20kg weight. Oh my God! That is heavy!!! And that is what I have lost so far... pity is that I have to do another one of them :( A bit of a reality check. But oh well, I've done it once I can do it again. The past 4 months have actually been quite good - a few ups and downs, but easier than I expected. I'm enjoying the training and feeling good about myself. The next 20kg will be harder, I know that. But I am pumped and ready to go.

My favourite skirt

Today I am wearing my favourite skirt. I bought this for a friend's engagement party - about 6 years ago!!! I have hardly worn it because just after I bought it I put on weight, so it has been in my cupboard since then. It is the one thing I haven't been able to throw out cause I love it so much. Anyway, tried it on this morning and it fits!!!!! Wooohooo. I love my skirt.

20kg down!!!

Wooohooo I've lost 20kg!!! Most excited when I stepped on the scales this morning! On to the next 20 now.....

Arguments in my head

No I'm not mad. Well not much. Let me explain.... I have 1.2kg to go to get to 20kg lost, so I really want to do it this week. So everytime I felt like eating something bad on the weekend I argued with myself. "Do I really want that, or do I want to lose 1.2kg this week?" You get the idea.

So far so good. Haven't jumped on the scales yet, but I was good all weekend. Had one small glass of wine last night, but apart from that it was all healthy stuff - lots of fruit and salads. Went for a run Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And did the Bondi walk on Sunday morning to see the sculptures (but that doesn't count as exercise cause there were sooooo many people!). Here's some pics... this is why I love Sydney! It's all just so beautiful.

My baby

Here's my baby Harvey. Isn't he gorgeous?!!!

Wardrobe Clean Out

After a little hissy fit the other night when I couldn't find anything to wear (It was all too big - yay!) I decided it was time for a much needed wardrobe clean out. CHECK IT OUT!!! This is the pile of stuff I am sending to the salvos. Some of it is just plain daggy - but most of it is there because it is too big. I can't be bothered with ebay – I just want to get it all out of the house!

So my wardrobe is now looking very bare. I've got one pair of jeans, 3/4 jeans and a pair of 3/4 black pants (that I didn't even know I had) plus some tops. And I've decided that will do me til Christmas. No point spending a fortune on clothes at the moment. Might buy a couple more cheap tops if I find some, but that's it for clothes shopping for me until I hit Melbourne at Chrismtas time. Oh how I miss Chadstone!!!

Due to popular demand...

I'm posting a typical menu for me. Here's what I had yesterday...

7am 1 x weet-bix with 1/2 cup All Bran and no fat milk
10am green tea and a nectarine
12.30pm wrap with ham, cheese and mushrooms, toasted and 1 can diet coke
3pm skinny hot chocolate
5pm handful of grapes
7pm chicken & cashew stirfry (small piece of chicken, heaps of veggies, cashews, oyster sauce, sweet chilli sauce)
7.30pm 1/2 punnet strawberries with small scoop low fat ice cream
+ 2-3 litres of water throughout the day

Basically I try to eat every 2-3 hours, but small amounts. The hot chocolate was a treat – maybe a once a week thing. Usually my snacks are either fruit, muesli bar, rice crackers, sultanas etc. I spend alot of time reading nutritional panels at the supermarket! I try to find products that are low GI and not too high in sugar. I have found alot of the WW products are high in sugar - you can find better alternatives.

I also allow myself one night off a week where I have a couple of wines and don't worry too much about what I eat. I still don't eat fried food - it's usually Thai, or it could be lollies at the movies. The night varies according to my social calendar!

I have found the key to this is varying your diet and the amount you eat so that your metabolism doesn't become complacent. As I increased my training I found I wasn't eating enough – I had to increase the protein in my diet. For example, if I was making an omlette I would add an extra egg white or two. I have gradually reduced carbs at night. I love my corn on the cob and potato though, so I usually have those after I have trained at the gym cause they are the nights I will burn them faster. The changes have been gradual and through trial and error. Every body is different - it is a matter of finding the right combination of carbs, protein and fats for your body.

I must say thankyou to all the lovely people who have commented on my blog and on my posts on the WW boards. I have lost almost 20kg, but I still have almost 30kg to go to reach goal. It is people like you who keep me on track and focussed and believing that I can get there. Someone on the boards said, "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". That is exactly right. No food makes me feel as good as reading all of your words of encouragement.

Updated Comparison Pic

Here's where I was to where I am now. The first pic is what inspired me to do something about my weight. Started WW 13 July 2006 and started personal training 24 July 2006.

I don't really follow the points system anymore – I have my own version which is a combination of what I learnt from WW, my PT and loads of reading. I have built up the exercise gradually to train with Nathan twice a week (mainly weights and boxing, but sometimes we go for a run as well), plus I run or walk 6 days a week, do a pump class and sometimes balance.

This weekend I proved that it works. After alot of alcohol (cocktails, mixed drinks, wine - you name it!), eating the wrong things and not enough water I still managed to lose 0.4kg in 4 days much to my surprise. I did go for a run Saturday morning and spent the whole of Saturday night on the dance floor, but still! Nathan's explanation (which does actually make sense) is that I have built up my metabolism to carry me through weekends like that because of all the exercise I do, and because I eat every 3 hours or so.

My point here, is that if you just keep going and stay focused on your goal, you can get to a point where if you have a blow-out it doesn't matter. You can still have fun and lose weight.

More pics from the weekend...

It wasn't all about weddings and drinking! Here's beautiful Bell's Beach and a pic of Cath and I getting some sun on the balcony of our hotel.

The Wedding

Well the new black dress and shiny red shoes had their outing on the weekend. Went down to Lorne for a wonderful relaxing weekend and a fabulous wedding. Caught up with some friends from school and danced the night away with the aid of cocktails and champagne!

My shiny red shoes were a hit with a little girl at the church - she kept touching them. It was very cute! However, they had been replaced by my Havianas very early on in the reception (I came prepared!). I wasn't the only one either!!!

It would seem that dancing til 2am is fantastic exercise because despite what we ate and drank, I lost 0.4kg over the weekend. Yay me! I was so prepared for a 1kg gain. Might have something to do with yesterday's diet of 1/2 a pancake, green tea and 1/2 a can of diet Coke cause that is all my stomach would accept! Very hungover :(

Here's some pics from the wedding. I'm the one in the black dress with red necklace. The girl with the long red hair is Cath, one of my best friends from highschool. The group pic, taken from the balcony of our hotel is me, Eric (Cath's husband), Cath and Tim - we all went to school together (except Eric - he came later!!)

And another thing...

Forgot to mention I only have 2.2kg to go til I hit 20kg lost. Party time!!!!

Roll with the punches and get on with life

That's my motto for today. The last 2 days have been tough – especially with most of my support network in another state! But I have some truly great friends here in Sydney who have been fabulous. It is nice to know that people are thinking about you and want to check that you are OK.

Nathan called me 4 times yesterday – and I saw him twice! He is so sweet and possibly a little protective! He was insisting that I stay at his place again last night but even at 8pm I hadn’t made up my mind – so he talked me into it. I packed my bag, had a shower, put my jeans on and was ready to go when I changed my mind again. I decided to be brave. I cleaned every surface and changed my sheets and put on my new doona cover. Not that I think they did anything – it was just that I felt better once it was all done. I fell asleep on the couch and then went to bed and slept til 6am which was exactly what I needed. I couldn't stand the thought that these theives had driven me out of my own home. It's not likely that they'll come back, and very unlikely they'll come back when I'm home.

So it's onwards and upwards. I'm not going to let this upset me anymore. What is done is done. I can't change it and it was stressing me out so time to let go.

Why is everything so hard sometimes?

I am having one of those weeks where everything is going wrong. Yesterday a server crashed at work – it had to be when I was busy didn't it! Now I have just over 12 hours to get a job out the door and HP are giving me the runaround on the part I need. So much for a 4 hour turnaround as per our service agreement!

Oh but it gets better... got home last night to find my house had been broken into. Front door broken and my cameras gone. Then while I was waiting for the police my neighbour decides to stand at his window naked and stare at me. Needless to say, I am a little freaked out!!! Stayed at a friends place last night cause I can’t even shut my front door properly, but didn’t get any sleep. Was up at 5am, and ended up going for a run at 7am – for an hour and a half!! Walked some of it, but it was still the longest run I have done EVER!!!

Police are have been back this morning to fingerprint the door, so now I need to get the landlord to get it fixed. The nude neighbour was back as well. Totally freaking me out. May need to do something about that one - just not sure what.

So anyway, have had absolutely no appetite at all. Did have lollies at the movies last night though! Apart from that, I had 1 weet-bix for breakfast, and I had to force myself to eat that. Not sure where the energy came from for the run – perhaps it was the pure anger I was feeling this morning. Last night I was upset, today just pi$$ed off! At least I have not turned to food like I used to do. Instead I exercise! Who would have thought? At least something good came out of it.

Another shopping spree – an new hair

The only down side to losing weight is the amount of money I am spending on clothes! Everything is too big! So had to go shopping yet again... got a new white singlet with little spots on it and a little red cardi to go with it. I love them!

Also had my hair cut and coloured yesterday. It's a bit red. Nice to have something different. Felt on top of the world with my new hair and new clothes. Today however, struggling. It's wet and miserable outside so went to the gym instead of doing the Bondi to Coogee walk. Not exactly the same! Have spent the afternoon doing housework and ironing to try and distract myself from eating something bad. I really feel like some hot chips or something. I know I won't even enjoy them – but it is what I am feeling like! So instead I've made myself a cup of tea and going to hit the books. Studying nutrition at the moment so going to use that as my next distraction. An exciting Sunday.... gym, housework, study. Yes I have a life! Really I do!!!!

Looking forward to next weekend - it's the wedding in Lorne where I get to take my new black dress on an outing. The red necklace you can see in the photo is the one I am wearing with it – it matches my new shiny red shoes.

Running

I can't believe how much I actually enjoy going for a run. Me – little miss anti-sport who probably hasn't run since primary school! In only a short time I have gone from running/walking 15 mins to doing that for 30 mins – but running nearly all of it. And it feels good!!!! Weigh-in tomorrow... hopefully that will be good too :)

17KG down

Sometimes I look in the mirror and see how much weight I have lost and feel proud. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see how much weight I still have to lose and get disheartened. Sometimes the road ahead seems so long. So I decided to check back at some of my pics and see exactly what 17kg looks like – now there is some motivation! Sometimes you just need to stop and look at what you have achieved, and take every little bit as it comes.

7 Bridges - Done and Dusted!

Yesterday did the 7 Bridges Walk around Sydney Harbour. Crossed all 7 bridges, 22km and stumbled home in just over 5 hours. Spent the rest of the day on the couch though! The walk was awesome. Great views and scenery. The last part was pretty steep, but the rest was flat and fairly easy. Here's some pics – the vertical one is Anzac Bridge, and the other is taken from the top of the Gladesville Bridge looking back at the Harbour Bridge.

I need to stop being such a girl!

Didn't sleep very well when I eventually got home last night, cause I was thinking about Nathan and the supermodels and me and all that stuff. I've been going over and over it in my head. Then I got a phone call – from one very hung-over boy! And you know what – I was reading way too much into it. He's fine. We're fine. I'm fine. I'm such a girl sometimes!!!

Out with the supermodels

Went out with Nathan last night – and his flatmate and her friend, who I will from here on in only refer to as the supermodels. I should start by saying that they are both really nice girls and lots of fun - but that is not the point of this story!

The plan was to go out for dinner and a few drinks. I arrived at Nathan's feeling great – I had a new top on with my jeans that actually fit, hair straightened, makeup good. Then it all went wrong! The supermodels were dressed in not much. Yes they looked hot – but even when I weigh the same as what they do I can't imagine dressing like that. I felt really under-dressed for the occasion yet I shouldn't have cause we were just going to the local pub. The first part of the night was great – had a nice meal, a couple of drinks and chatted easily. It was when we hit the dance floor that it all changed. Nathan and I had a bit of a D&M off to the side while the supermodels danced away. He said some really special things and I got a bit teary so we had to end the conversation then! The supermodels were immediately surrounded in an enormous group of guys – and my God did they play up to it! You could look at it as harmless fun, but something about it bothers me. How can any girl expect to be treated as anything other than a piece of meat, if that is the way she is acting? It's just not my scene.

So the question is, does Nathan want me to be something I am not? I don't really think so, but last night just seemed so pretentious and I just felt so out of place.

Cocktails

What a weekend! It started with a nice quiet Friday night in preparation for a very busy weekend. But Saturday's plans went out the window when I discovered that my car had been broken in to. They took my tripod, a jumper and my seat cleaner (what's with that?) but obviously didn't like my taste in music. After a bit if deliberating I decided to call the police, so I had two men in uniform to visit me! They then sent the forensic police around and fingerprinted my whole car. It was covered in black and white dust - inside and out! So then me being the princess that I can be went to the shopping centre and handed the keys over to the car wash people while I had some retail therapy while my car was cleaned. Hey - it's better than eating in a time of stress!

So I missed out on meeting all the lovely WW people at the Opera Bar. The cops were really nice and got some prints as well (for all I know they are mine though), but I can see why people would hesitate to report stuff like that. It wasted 3/4 of my day. So then, even though I was tempted to curl up on the couch with a DVD and my doona I glammed up and met Susan and Berni for cocktails at the Orbit Bar. That place is amazing! 360 degree views of the city - the bar actually rotates! It takes an hour and a half to go round and you get to see absolutely everything. It was wicked. The pic is of Berni and I (I'm on the right) and our lethal chocolate cocktails.

Anne Marie arrived from Hobart yesterday. She's spending the week at my place while she does a course in the city. We had a lovely afternoon wandering around Crows Nest, drinking cups of tea and then walked up to the Oaks for dinner.

Sexy Red Shoes

I found some nice red shoes to wear with my new dress! Shiny red so they go faster!

I Bought A Dress

I am very excited cause this is my first dress in like FOREVER!!! Wearing it to a wedding 11 November so will post pics of me modelling it then! Planning on a pair of sexy red shoes to go with my new red necklace.

68 Days Til Christmas

Someone just told me it was only 68 days til Christmas. Doesn't time fly!!! But it made me think about where I want to be by Christmas this year. I want to lose another 10kg (which is only about 1kg a week) which will bring me to 25kg lost. Wow - that is a hell of a lot of weight!!! All I have to do is lose 150g per day. That is doable.

Which made me think again... it's 54 days til the PageSet Christmas party. Which means another 8kg gone by then - 23kg lost. I am so going to do this!!! PageSet people haven't seen me since early September so they should notice the difference! I can feel a new outfit coming on!!!!

So I am feeling re-energised and re-committed. I will track everything I eat, I will do 3 weight sessions a week, I will do cardio 6 days a week and I will lose 10kg in the next 68 days.

Finding distractions

I was soooo hungry all weekend. For the first time since starting this journey I felt the need to eat and eat and eat. I don't know if it was all the extra exercise I did during the week or if it was cause I was bored. Maybe it is because I haven't had any bread or potato with my meals?

I did give in a little bit, but realised I needed to get away from food. Saturday night I took my camera out for a spin (something I haven't done in a loooonnngg time), and didn't take any money with me so I couldn't buy food! Sunday morning went to gym and then went to the Crows Nest Fair. I even took my own lunch so I didn't get tempted to buy sausages or something equally as yummy! But then Sunday arvo felt like eating again. I really had to argue with myself not to eat all the time. But I managed just to have some fruit and then kept myself busy til tea time.

Anyway, today is a new day. So I am going to make sure I eat every 3 hours, so I don't get hungry. I am going to drink 3L of water and I will go to the gym after work for a cardio session.

(BTW - the pic above was the result of my little excursion on Saturday night)

15kg Down

Well I did it! I made it to 15kg lost! Woohoooooo!
Thought it was time for a look at where I was at the start and where I am now - so here's the comparison pic. I am actually starting to "feel" like I have lost weight. It is a good feeling!

I don't usually spend too much time looking at the mirrors in the gym - actually I flat out avoid them. But last night I caught a glimpse when I was doing some weights - and OMG I have muscles!! Yes I am starting to see some muscle tone in those arms of mine. Just need to get rid of the flabby bits that hang underneath the muscles now! Nathan told Russell (one of the other trainers at the gym) that I had reached a big goal last night - so I filled him in. You should have seen Nathan - he was just like a proud dad! Tried taking all the credit too!!! I don't care - I couldn't get the smile off my face.

This week I will....

...get to 15kg loss!!! Woohooo! I guess I shouldn't get too excited yet. I need to lose 1.2kg by Thursday, and THEN I will have lost 15kg. So it's all healthy eating and lots of exercise for me this week. Not that that is any different to every other week, but I will try EXTRA hard this week. I really want to hit that 15kg mark.

Had a great weekend. Started off with a PT session Friday night (sad huh!), went for a run Saturday morning then went shopping. I loved walking into a shop and being able to try on so much stuff that fitted. I got a bit carried away and tried on lots of stuff - just cause I could! I ended up with a pair of shorts, 3/4 jeans, and a new sports bra! I was getting low on clothes that actually fitted me properly so it was time to part with some cash! Seems a bit pointless when I am losing weight, but my theory is that I am working hard at it so I want to look my best so I feel good about myself. There you go, justified! Anyway, back to the weekend. Did the Dove Breast Cancer walk on Saturday night. So yes, I spent both Friday and Saturday nights exercising. What a loser! Yesterday had a few drinks with Smithy in Manly - another great person Vanessa has introduced me to in Sydney!

Speaking of people I have met in Sydney... they are all unreal. It makes such a difference to your life if you surround yourself with positive and supportive people. They believe in you, they encourage you and help you celebrate the wins. They are the reason I am here, the reason I am sticking to the health and fitness thing, and the reason I am the happiest I have been in a long time. So to Nathan, Berni, Shayne and Smithy - you rock! I love you guys!

Another week down...

Well I did manage to lose that 0.4 I put on over the weekend - and another 0.2 to go with it. So quite happy with that. I proved to myself that I can have a more "relaxed" weekend when it comes to food and still do OK. I have actually learnt not to beat myself up over it - 0.4 is not much in the big scheme of things. So rather than sulk or give in which is what I would have done previously, I worked a bit harder and got rid of it.

Speaking of working a bit harder... last night did 40 min of cardio before my PT session. Have NEVER done that before! I just felt like I could do it, so I did! Feeling very sore after all those weights though! According to Nathan, I was in the big boys room so I had to lift big boys weights. I didn't think I could do it - but as he said, it is all in the mind. You just have to make your body do it - and I did. Don't tell him he was right though!

It's funny how the mind works. I have never been good at sport. I was always the last one picked for teams at school and I hated every minute of it. If I could find a way to get out of P.E. then I did! Now I actually enjoy exercise and the gym. Don't get me wrong – I am no sporting prowess. But I like it and I work hard at it. I even try new classes occasionally - something I never would have done before. I think it is all about believing in yourself - another thing I have never been good at. Well, I did in terms of work and my career, but not with other stuff. I am slowly learning to.

Another fab weekend....

Had an unreal weekend with Mum and Dad in Sydney. Did HEAPS of walking, but a bit of eating and drinking too! I've put on 400grams, so need to make that disappear before Thursday's weigh-in. I did have fun though!
Here's a pic of beautiful Bondi Beach. I finally went there after 5 months of living in Sydney - and it's pretty cool. Heaps nicer than I expected, but lots of beautiful bodies which is more than a little intimidating. So it's back into the exercise routine and back to the gym for me this week.

Here's some of my inspiration from my WW buddies.....

http://www.tinydonna.blogspot.com/
http://alittleraeofsunshine.blogspot.com
http://web.mac.com/barbaraoakley.mac/iWeb/Site/Blog/Blog.html
http://bikinidreamer.blogspot.com/
http://blownupdolly.blogspot.com/
http://wouldhe.blogspot.com/
http://ratbag1166.blogspot.com/
http://phatfliss.blogspot.com/

Time for new pics

Well almost 14kg down and I figure it is time for a pic update. I bought these jeans 2 weeks ago and they are already feeling saggy in the bum! That's why I only spent $40 on them! Might have to go back for a smaller pair in another week or two! Yay!

Most excited cause Mum and Dad are coming to Sydney this weekend. They haven't been to visit me yet, so they haven't even seen where I live. Have a full itinerary planned - lots of walking. I am feeling heaps better, so hopefully will be right to go by the weekend! Only one more sleep....

Listen to your body

OK so I learnt this one the hard way. Had a week of feeling tired and run down, but assumed it was because I had had a big weekend and hadn't eaten enough red meat. Ended up with a really sore mouth from one of my wisdom teeth pushing into my cheek. So braved a visit to the dentist last Thursday and had it removed. Spent a couple of days feeling sorry for myself, but looked forward to being able to exercise again on Saturday. Didn't feel too great, so just did a pretty easy walk. However, woke up Sunday morning with the worst sore throat I had ever had. It was so swollen I thought I was destined for hospital! It seems I have picked up a bacterial infection (possibly from the dentist) and have a nice dose of acute pharangitis. I've spent a couple of days in bed and am so bored I have dragged myself into work today. Nathan has told me to take a week off from gym, so I am doubly obsessing about what I eat as I am not exercising at all. Add to that, all I feel like eating is ice cream or custard cause it is easy to swallow. So much for the bikini at Christmas time....

It was gonna happen....

The scales stayed exactly the same this week. I knew it would happen eventually, and I know that it happens to everyone, but that doesn't make it any easier. I was pretty pissed off about it at first, but as the day wore on I forgot about it. That may have something to do with having one of my wisdom teeth pulled out! Nothing like a distraction! Had a chat to Nathan about it last night. He's going to look at my food plan and we'll make some changes. Less carbs more protien. I think in the end he was more worried about it than I was!

So with a swollen mouth feeling a bit sorry for myself today. Boost juice is my friend - I can't chew anything so I think a smoothie for lunch is going to be the best option. Can't exercise for 24 hours, but I'm not going to be eating much so I don't think it'll matter too much. Back into it tomorrow with a walk. Might do a pump class if I feel up to it - but I will need to be a hell of a lot better than what I am now. Have got a big walk planned for Sunday too - Rose Bay to Watsons Bay.

It's a lovely 30 degrees in Sydney today, so may need to escape the office and get some sun.

A little victory...

Last night, all I wanted to do was go home, get takeaway and fall into bed. But I didn't. I went to gym - did an hour PT with Nathan, came home and ate healthy food. I did fall asleep on the couch shortly after though!

Another weekend down....

Weekends are always the hardest aren't they??!! I started off OK (staying at Mum and Dad's was always going to be the easy bit), and even though I managed not to drink AT ALL, I don't feel like I did very well. OK, so not drinking when spending 36 hours with PageSet boys is a massive achievement. But I threw everything I have learnt out the window. I didn't drink enough water, I didn't eat when I should and I don't think I had any vegetables at all.

It makes it a bit clearer as to why I couldn't do this before. I tend to just go along with everyone else... breakfast at 11am means you don't want lunch, then you get busy and all of a sudden it's 6pm and all I've eaten is some eggs, 1 piece of light rye bread and a few mushrooms. I got up and went for a run Sunday morning before anyone else was out of bed, and the reaction from Matty when I got back was "You What??" I guess when you haven't been there you don't understand. I also haven't talked about it with him at all. I'm not sure why - I can talk to him about pretty much anything, except for the one thing that is most important to me at the moment. He did say something along those lines last night - that I don't talk to him about stuff that bothers me. He is someone I consider one of my best friends, yet I can't just blurt everything out. I'm not his boss anymore, so I can't use the work thing as an excuse.

Being home for a weekend was kind of weird. Firstly I had so much on and so many people to see that I didn't actually spend any quality time with anyone. I really wish I had longer at Mum and Dad's, but it's hard when they live so far away, so it was easier to stay in the city. I got to Sunday night feeling a little disappointed, and very, very tired. A bit of a reality check - everything is exactly the same as when I left. People are going to the same places and doing the same things. Life goes on - and it's just the same as it always was. Sydney is still exciting. I go different places all the time and am meeting some awesome people. The novelty may wear off soon, but for now I am loving it.

The most frustrating thing is that everyone still has the same complaints about their lives. And, 4 months ago that was me. I know that. I knew what I didn't like but either didn't know how to change it, or was scared of changing it. But I have changed so much in the last 4 months, and am working on changing the things that matter (ie. my weight), and forgetting about the things that don't.

So anyway, today is back on track. IT"S ALL ABOUT ME!!!! I am back to drinking 3L of water a day. I am back to eating every 3 hours and back to making wise food choices. And I have 2 x PT sessions between now and Thursday's weigh-in so I can get the old metabolism kick started and burning away so the scales will be nice to me again.

I am off to a PT session shortly. After only 4 hours sleep I am going to struggle, but I am still going to go. Sorry for the rambling – this weekend has made me think ALOT! Need to get some of it out of my head!!!

Birthday Confessions

Well my birthday wasn't exactly alcohol free - but I had a great time! Went out for drinks, dinner and more drinks with Nathan and enjoyed it all! No stressing about points or anything like that. Didn't feel too crash hot on Friday, but at least I went to work which is more than I can say for Nathan!

And the best bit is that I weighed on Monday and had lost 2kg!!! So despite reduced exercise because of wet weather and then hangovers, I had a great week. Official weigh in isn't until Thursday, so hopefully that will still show -2kg... or maybe even more.

Wasn't pumped at all for PT last night, but given my aches and pains this morning I still worked hard! Everything hurts... again!

Confession Time

(pics above are from the Spit to Manly walk I did on Sunday)
Well, it has been almost a week. But I need to confess! Those few wines I was going to have last Friday turned into alot more! Add to that, I didn't eat. Let's just say that Saturday was not pretty!!!

Have been alcohol free since, and was planning to remain so for a while, but as today is my birthday, I may need to have some. Maybe. We'll see.

Have started doing my PT twice a week. Plus a pump and a balance class, plus cardio. Look out!!! Today walked to work, but not going to do much else. My body is screaming out for a rest. Everything hurts - legs, arms, abs - everything! At the end of last night's training session I couldn't even hold myself up with my arms. I was sitting on the floor and went to lean on my arm but it collapsed underneath me. A sign that I worked hard, if nothing else! I had a good laugh at myself.

The weather in Sydney is crap today, and looking like it will be crap all weekend. Hopefully it is not raining on Sunday cause I want to do another big walk. Did the Spit to Manly last weekend with Berni. It was great – I did it alot easier than I did when I last did it four months ago. It seems all this exercise is paying off.

Time for some new pics....

Well, just over 10kg down now so thought it was time for some new photos of me. I had my hair cut and coloured yesterday (my 10kg reward), and although it is VERY dark, I think I kind of like it. It's growing on me anyway!

I'm back!!

Yes that's right. Back on top of the world, back on track! After a couple of very flat days I am back eating all my points and feeling great. Weigh-in tomorrow (had a sneak peak this morning so I know it is good already!!)

Have just been to a body combat class at the gym. It was kinda fun, although a bit gung-ho. I was also very unco-ordinated! Might try a RPM class or something instead. I need something fun to do as a cardio class for a bit of a change. Have PT tomorrow night and then bring on the weekend! I'm going to see if I can talk Berni & Shayne into doing the Spit to Manly walk with me – I want to see how much fitter I am since I last did it (that was 4 months ago, pre-weight loss).

Need to keep up with the excercise cause look what I have coming up over the next 3 weekends....
• Friday 1st Sept drinks with gym people
• Thursday 7th Sept, my birthday (need I say more)
• Friday 8th Sept, my "-4kg date" with Nathan
• Saturday 9th Sept, more birthday celebrations
Then the following weekend... in Melbourne from Friday night til early Monday morning. Friday will be OK cause staying at Mum and Dad's, but Saturday & Sunday at Matty's and out with work people. Look out!!!

I think I need a plan for all this. Drinks this Friday are OK - I'll only have a couple and I have the points for it. Next week however.... hmm that's hard. OK, Saturday night can be alcohol free. And as for the rest... maybe I should just move into the gym :)

Struggling a bit... but I don't know why

Firstly, my day in Melbourne was great. Lots of people commented on me losing weight which was a fantastic boost.
However, today I am feeling a little flat. I shouldn't be – I had a 1.5kg loss last week. But I am. I am tired, I don't really feel like eating but I know I have to. I need to get those energy levels up before I go to gym tonight, or I won't be lifting much at all!

Thursday's PT session was unreal. I worked really hard... I know I did because I have been very sore ever since! Couldn't even go to pump on Saturday cause it just hurt too much. Went for a run instead, which felt good.

Sometimes the road ahead just seems so long.

Going to Melbourne tomorrow!

I am very excited that I am going "home" tomorrow. At first I was disappointed cause I wasn't planning on going for a few more weeks, and was hoping to have lost a few more kilos. No-one has seen me (except for the odd web-cam appearance) since I began this mission to shed the kilos, so I was hoping for a more dramatic "reveal". But I'm over that now and just excited to be seeing everyone again. Got a meeting at work in the morning, then lunch with the Galaxy boys and then Mum and Dad are going to pick me up from work and we'll go out for dinner. A bit of a whirlwind trip, but should be fun.

Will weigh in tomorrow morning (a day early, but pre-Melbourne!). So far have lost 8.1kg. Hoping for -1.5 this week cause I have worked extra hard. Had a few wines Friday night, but stayed within my points. Have done heaps of excercise since last hot date with the scales...

Thursday 45 min walk + 1 hour PT
Friday 45 min walk
Saturday 45 min walk + 1 hour pump
Sunday 1 hour stroll then 8km hike
Monday 20 min bike + 1 hour pump
Tuesday 3 x 30 min walk

Fingers crossed....

Toronga Walk

Had a great weekend. There were a few wines to be had on Friday night, but that was offset by walking and a pump class on Saturday, and an 8km walk on Sunday. Did the 8km in 1hr 40min so was quite happy with that effort. Plenty of stairs to get the sweat going, but the views of Sydney were unreal! Ended up at a nice little park right on the beach.

My Virtual Model

Here's what I will look like in May 2007

How did I get here?

One of the very friendly people on the WW boards asked a question today that really made me think about where I am and what I am doing. Here's my response.....

********
My main focus in life for the past 5 years has been my career. I loved my job and it somehow became my life. I was eating up to 3 meals a day at work (very, very long hours).

Lunch, and sometimes even dinner was whatever everyone else was having cause I didn't have time to leave the office. It usually involved takeaway, or if I didn't have time for that, vegemite on toast.

I tend to eat when I am stressed. So add in chips or chocolate every time I stopped for petrol or someone at work was sharing.

I would occasionally walk on the weekends, but apart from that there was very little excercise. It was dark when I went to work, and dark when I left.

Looking at this, it is not really surprising that I am here. Realisation hit me about 6 months ago – I had had enough. It took me another 3 months to sort myself out because it was a massive mind shift from "career, career, career" to "there is more to life than this".

I have accepted a new position at work (same company, but different location). Not really a promotion, but the pay is the same so I can deal with that! I now work a normal 40 hour week with little or no stress. I eat healthily, and with all my newfound spare time I am going to the gym and walking. I even walk to work cause I live closer.
********

I think that acknowledging why I ended up so overweight is part of the healing process. Onwards and upward from here! (And I'm not going back to my old job, no matter what).
Enough of the deep and meaningful stuff xoxox

Port Douglas

Well i survived my long weekend in Port Douglas... just! I am so tired! Therese's wedding was unreal - she looked fabulous! I was a bit worried about what I was going to eat, but I think I did OK. Had chips with dinner on the last night, and a few drinks at the wedding but apart from that I was pretty good. Went for a walk every day which should help. Weigh in on Thursday will tell all!
The top pic is where the cocktails were had... middle pic is the lovely bride and me, and the bottom one is pretty obvious!

This Week's Excercise Diary

This week's gonna be hard... 4 days in Port Douglas (the things we have to do!), but seriously, I have a wedding to get though and no gym. I'm going to have to behave myself.

Monday: 45 min walk, 20 min bike, 1 hour pump class (DONE!)
Tuesday: 45 min walk, personal training 1 hour
Wednesday: 30 min walk
Thursday: 1 hour walk on the beach
Friday: 2 x 1 hour walks
Saturday: Swimming/snorkelling on the reef
Sunday: Beach cricket... Australia V the rest of the world

Wish me luck... I want to come back minus another kg!

A whole new wardrobe....

Well, it kind a feels like it anyway! I am now wearing my size 16 jeans that I haven't worn in ages.... and the dark blue ones, the ones that I love and haven't been able to fit into in OVER 12 months.... I can do them up! They're not terribly comfortable yet, but another week or two and they will have an outing on the town for sure! It is such a great feeling.

I was very well behaved this weekend. Also did a bit of exercise, although not as much as last weekend. So I thought I would have a little "preview" on the scales this morning.... -2.3kg!! Are you serious??!! I had to step on twice just to make sure. Going to be extra careful between now and Thursday to make sure that that figure stays there.

6.1kg down

This is me on the phone at work (a pretty normal occurance!). Believe it or not I am actually enjoying gym (it's all Nathan's fault). Set a new goal today.... -20kg between now and Christmas. That's in 20 weeks so have to keep working hard. Lost 1.1kg this week so definitely on track. 18.9 to go.

Starting to notice some changes...
• Have to wear a belt to hold up my work pants!
• Can fit back into my fav black pants that I haven't worn for a very long time
• My skin is clear... must be all the water I am drinking
• I walk the long way to work now.... the way that has the biggest hills
• I look forward to going to gym at the end of the day (who woulda thought??!!)

At the start...

This is me at my worst... and not very happy about it either!