Thinking about stuff

Was talking to my PT last night and he said that it was especially great that I am losing all this weight without my usual support network (they're in Melb, I'm in Syd). My first reaction was that actually it is easier cause I am away from most of the bad influences. I eat better, I drink less and I don't find excuses not to exercise. I am not surrounded by people trying to tempt be to make bad choices.

But walking home I started thinking about it a bit more. I am an emotional eater. As soon as something goes wrong, or I feel down, stressed or lonely I eat. Usually chocolate or something along those lines. If I am tired and can't be bothered cooking it would be take-away. But that is the one habit I have changed since moving to Sydney. I don't turn to food anymore cause I recognise that it is not going to help. I look at food differently now. It is fuel for my body – and if it is not going to help me then why eat it? (Don't get me wrong, I still have the occasional yummy treat). So to change my way of thinking at a time when I struggled emotionally the most is an achievement.

It is certainly alot easier now. I have made some great friends in Sydney who are all very supportive of my goals. But I did it – I did something hard (moving interstate) and stuck to my goals. Happy with that.

Found the most hideous before pic....

And thought I'd share it. How bad can you get! Anyway, the updates are much better. And yes - that's my favourite black cardi and I wear it alot!!!

New top

Here's one of the new tops I bought on Saturday. It's blue with little silver sparkly spots on it. And it cost me a whole $15!!! Bargain!!!

Need some motivation?

Well here it is. This little baby is 1kg of fat. Can you believe how many of these are packed into your body? Eeeewwwww! Totally disgusting! I am going to lose 27 more of these babies cause I don't want this in my body. How gross!!!

Back into the exercise

I went for a massive run last night – God it felt good! Went for an hour (I did walk some bits) and did hills and stairs and everything! I really pushed myself and came back sweating up a storm, but felt great. Legs were a bit sore last night though! Was sound asleep by 9pm - the first night in a while that I haven't had trouble getting to sleep. PT tonight - so gonna push myself even harder. Cause it feels good!!!!

Ups and downs

It is so easy to get caught up in how far you have come and forget about how far you have to go – or at least lose some of the motivation to get there. I went shopping on Saturday - bought size 14 shorts, and a size 12 top!!! The top will wait a few weeks before it gets an outing cause it will look heaps better then. So I was very motivated and happy. Then come Sunday morning I was lying in bed trying to convince myself that I had to go out for a walk. I had planned to do Spit to Manly (about 9km) but cause none of my friends were able to come I wasn't motivated to do it anymore. That is so not like me! I am usually keen to do these walks with or without my friends. I really had to convince myself to go and do something – I used the old "how bad do I want to get to goal" talk. I ended up going for a bike ride in the morning and a hills and stairs walk at Balmoral in the afternoon. But I had to force myself to do both.

I didn't bring my gym stuff with me today. Just not motivated to go. So I'm going to have to go for a run when I get home. I'll pick a track that goes far away from my house so I have to do the whole thing. None of this going around the local oval a couple of times cause I am in the mood to go around once and give up. I have PT tomorrow so that should get me back on track. I can't slack off then!


Here's the lovely Opera House. I love Sydney - it's so beautiful!!


Here's a pic of the view from the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I walked over to Pitt St on Saturday to go shopping - and walked home again as well!

What does 20kg feel like?

I just went to the gym and picked up a 20kg weight. Oh my God! That is heavy!!! And that is what I have lost so far... pity is that I have to do another one of them :( A bit of a reality check. But oh well, I've done it once I can do it again. The past 4 months have actually been quite good - a few ups and downs, but easier than I expected. I'm enjoying the training and feeling good about myself. The next 20kg will be harder, I know that. But I am pumped and ready to go.

My favourite skirt

Today I am wearing my favourite skirt. I bought this for a friend's engagement party - about 6 years ago!!! I have hardly worn it because just after I bought it I put on weight, so it has been in my cupboard since then. It is the one thing I haven't been able to throw out cause I love it so much. Anyway, tried it on this morning and it fits!!!!! Wooohooo. I love my skirt.

20kg down!!!

Wooohooo I've lost 20kg!!! Most excited when I stepped on the scales this morning! On to the next 20 now.....

Arguments in my head

No I'm not mad. Well not much. Let me explain.... I have 1.2kg to go to get to 20kg lost, so I really want to do it this week. So everytime I felt like eating something bad on the weekend I argued with myself. "Do I really want that, or do I want to lose 1.2kg this week?" You get the idea.

So far so good. Haven't jumped on the scales yet, but I was good all weekend. Had one small glass of wine last night, but apart from that it was all healthy stuff - lots of fruit and salads. Went for a run Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And did the Bondi walk on Sunday morning to see the sculptures (but that doesn't count as exercise cause there were sooooo many people!). Here's some pics... this is why I love Sydney! It's all just so beautiful.

My baby

Here's my baby Harvey. Isn't he gorgeous?!!!

Wardrobe Clean Out

After a little hissy fit the other night when I couldn't find anything to wear (It was all too big - yay!) I decided it was time for a much needed wardrobe clean out. CHECK IT OUT!!! This is the pile of stuff I am sending to the salvos. Some of it is just plain daggy - but most of it is there because it is too big. I can't be bothered with ebay – I just want to get it all out of the house!

So my wardrobe is now looking very bare. I've got one pair of jeans, 3/4 jeans and a pair of 3/4 black pants (that I didn't even know I had) plus some tops. And I've decided that will do me til Christmas. No point spending a fortune on clothes at the moment. Might buy a couple more cheap tops if I find some, but that's it for clothes shopping for me until I hit Melbourne at Chrismtas time. Oh how I miss Chadstone!!!

Due to popular demand...

I'm posting a typical menu for me. Here's what I had yesterday...

7am 1 x weet-bix with 1/2 cup All Bran and no fat milk
10am green tea and a nectarine
12.30pm wrap with ham, cheese and mushrooms, toasted and 1 can diet coke
3pm skinny hot chocolate
5pm handful of grapes
7pm chicken & cashew stirfry (small piece of chicken, heaps of veggies, cashews, oyster sauce, sweet chilli sauce)
7.30pm 1/2 punnet strawberries with small scoop low fat ice cream
+ 2-3 litres of water throughout the day

Basically I try to eat every 2-3 hours, but small amounts. The hot chocolate was a treat – maybe a once a week thing. Usually my snacks are either fruit, muesli bar, rice crackers, sultanas etc. I spend alot of time reading nutritional panels at the supermarket! I try to find products that are low GI and not too high in sugar. I have found alot of the WW products are high in sugar - you can find better alternatives.

I also allow myself one night off a week where I have a couple of wines and don't worry too much about what I eat. I still don't eat fried food - it's usually Thai, or it could be lollies at the movies. The night varies according to my social calendar!

I have found the key to this is varying your diet and the amount you eat so that your metabolism doesn't become complacent. As I increased my training I found I wasn't eating enough – I had to increase the protein in my diet. For example, if I was making an omlette I would add an extra egg white or two. I have gradually reduced carbs at night. I love my corn on the cob and potato though, so I usually have those after I have trained at the gym cause they are the nights I will burn them faster. The changes have been gradual and through trial and error. Every body is different - it is a matter of finding the right combination of carbs, protein and fats for your body.

I must say thankyou to all the lovely people who have commented on my blog and on my posts on the WW boards. I have lost almost 20kg, but I still have almost 30kg to go to reach goal. It is people like you who keep me on track and focussed and believing that I can get there. Someone on the boards said, "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". That is exactly right. No food makes me feel as good as reading all of your words of encouragement.

Updated Comparison Pic

Here's where I was to where I am now. The first pic is what inspired me to do something about my weight. Started WW 13 July 2006 and started personal training 24 July 2006.

I don't really follow the points system anymore – I have my own version which is a combination of what I learnt from WW, my PT and loads of reading. I have built up the exercise gradually to train with Nathan twice a week (mainly weights and boxing, but sometimes we go for a run as well), plus I run or walk 6 days a week, do a pump class and sometimes balance.

This weekend I proved that it works. After alot of alcohol (cocktails, mixed drinks, wine - you name it!), eating the wrong things and not enough water I still managed to lose 0.4kg in 4 days much to my surprise. I did go for a run Saturday morning and spent the whole of Saturday night on the dance floor, but still! Nathan's explanation (which does actually make sense) is that I have built up my metabolism to carry me through weekends like that because of all the exercise I do, and because I eat every 3 hours or so.

My point here, is that if you just keep going and stay focused on your goal, you can get to a point where if you have a blow-out it doesn't matter. You can still have fun and lose weight.

More pics from the weekend...

It wasn't all about weddings and drinking! Here's beautiful Bell's Beach and a pic of Cath and I getting some sun on the balcony of our hotel.

The Wedding

Well the new black dress and shiny red shoes had their outing on the weekend. Went down to Lorne for a wonderful relaxing weekend and a fabulous wedding. Caught up with some friends from school and danced the night away with the aid of cocktails and champagne!

My shiny red shoes were a hit with a little girl at the church - she kept touching them. It was very cute! However, they had been replaced by my Havianas very early on in the reception (I came prepared!). I wasn't the only one either!!!

It would seem that dancing til 2am is fantastic exercise because despite what we ate and drank, I lost 0.4kg over the weekend. Yay me! I was so prepared for a 1kg gain. Might have something to do with yesterday's diet of 1/2 a pancake, green tea and 1/2 a can of diet Coke cause that is all my stomach would accept! Very hungover :(

Here's some pics from the wedding. I'm the one in the black dress with red necklace. The girl with the long red hair is Cath, one of my best friends from highschool. The group pic, taken from the balcony of our hotel is me, Eric (Cath's husband), Cath and Tim - we all went to school together (except Eric - he came later!!)

And another thing...

Forgot to mention I only have 2.2kg to go til I hit 20kg lost. Party time!!!!

Roll with the punches and get on with life

That's my motto for today. The last 2 days have been tough – especially with most of my support network in another state! But I have some truly great friends here in Sydney who have been fabulous. It is nice to know that people are thinking about you and want to check that you are OK.

Nathan called me 4 times yesterday – and I saw him twice! He is so sweet and possibly a little protective! He was insisting that I stay at his place again last night but even at 8pm I hadn’t made up my mind – so he talked me into it. I packed my bag, had a shower, put my jeans on and was ready to go when I changed my mind again. I decided to be brave. I cleaned every surface and changed my sheets and put on my new doona cover. Not that I think they did anything – it was just that I felt better once it was all done. I fell asleep on the couch and then went to bed and slept til 6am which was exactly what I needed. I couldn't stand the thought that these theives had driven me out of my own home. It's not likely that they'll come back, and very unlikely they'll come back when I'm home.

So it's onwards and upwards. I'm not going to let this upset me anymore. What is done is done. I can't change it and it was stressing me out so time to let go.

Why is everything so hard sometimes?

I am having one of those weeks where everything is going wrong. Yesterday a server crashed at work – it had to be when I was busy didn't it! Now I have just over 12 hours to get a job out the door and HP are giving me the runaround on the part I need. So much for a 4 hour turnaround as per our service agreement!

Oh but it gets better... got home last night to find my house had been broken into. Front door broken and my cameras gone. Then while I was waiting for the police my neighbour decides to stand at his window naked and stare at me. Needless to say, I am a little freaked out!!! Stayed at a friends place last night cause I can’t even shut my front door properly, but didn’t get any sleep. Was up at 5am, and ended up going for a run at 7am – for an hour and a half!! Walked some of it, but it was still the longest run I have done EVER!!!

Police are have been back this morning to fingerprint the door, so now I need to get the landlord to get it fixed. The nude neighbour was back as well. Totally freaking me out. May need to do something about that one - just not sure what.

So anyway, have had absolutely no appetite at all. Did have lollies at the movies last night though! Apart from that, I had 1 weet-bix for breakfast, and I had to force myself to eat that. Not sure where the energy came from for the run – perhaps it was the pure anger I was feeling this morning. Last night I was upset, today just pi$$ed off! At least I have not turned to food like I used to do. Instead I exercise! Who would have thought? At least something good came out of it.

Another shopping spree – an new hair

The only down side to losing weight is the amount of money I am spending on clothes! Everything is too big! So had to go shopping yet again... got a new white singlet with little spots on it and a little red cardi to go with it. I love them!

Also had my hair cut and coloured yesterday. It's a bit red. Nice to have something different. Felt on top of the world with my new hair and new clothes. Today however, struggling. It's wet and miserable outside so went to the gym instead of doing the Bondi to Coogee walk. Not exactly the same! Have spent the afternoon doing housework and ironing to try and distract myself from eating something bad. I really feel like some hot chips or something. I know I won't even enjoy them – but it is what I am feeling like! So instead I've made myself a cup of tea and going to hit the books. Studying nutrition at the moment so going to use that as my next distraction. An exciting Sunday.... gym, housework, study. Yes I have a life! Really I do!!!!

Looking forward to next weekend - it's the wedding in Lorne where I get to take my new black dress on an outing. The red necklace you can see in the photo is the one I am wearing with it – it matches my new shiny red shoes.

Running

I can't believe how much I actually enjoy going for a run. Me – little miss anti-sport who probably hasn't run since primary school! In only a short time I have gone from running/walking 15 mins to doing that for 30 mins – but running nearly all of it. And it feels good!!!! Weigh-in tomorrow... hopefully that will be good too :)