Feeling sorry for myself

Yesterday I ended up with REALLY a really sore right shoulder and lats. Actually, both sides were sore, but I had hardly any movement in the right side at all. Wasn't sure whether to put it down to DOMS, sleeping in an awkward position or just down to my boobs (it happens!). So I rang my trusty massage therapist at the gym, and managed to get an appointment with Jo, who has just started in the practice.

I know the other 3 girls who work there quite well, as I do design work for all of them in exchange for massage (got to love a barta system!). All 3 have very different styles and I would choose each one depending on what I am after - for example, if you want to totally relax and fall asleep then Sasha is your girl! Anyway, Jo was different again - she was SUPER tough and SUPER strong and OMG it hurt. It needed to be done - I had knots right through my upper back and shoulders. She dug her elbows in, her arms, her fingers and stretched me like you wouldn't believe. I had so much more movement by the time she had finished but there was no way I could have fallen asleep! I wished I had dosed up on some Panadine or something before I went in. She massaged my face and head at the end cause she wanted to do something nice for me in case I never wanted to go back!

Today I feel like crap. I am going to dose up on green tea and loads of water to try flush all the toxins out of my body. I am sore, headachey and just generally feel crap. No gym for me this morning - I had planned a rest day anyway, and definitely need it.

Training Partner

The lovely Katie P has posted about having a training partner and how much help that could be.

I can testify that having somebody else to make you turn up to the gym, even when you don't feel like it, makes all the difference in the world. The key though, is a reliable training partner - and they are hard to find.

As most people I know are not as consistent with their training as I am, or have different priorities, or don't like (or need to) train at 6am every morning, I have found myself a variety of training partners. Some a good, some not so good.

My all time number 1 training partner is K, who I met through Rusty. We share 1-2 PT sessions a week and usually do a spin class on our free days. The only time we don't train together is when K is travelling for work or something along those lines - she never cancels at the last minute, and always turns up when she says she will. We train with similar weights and at a similar run pace and have exactly the same amount of weight left to lose. K rocks!

Then there are my "sometimes" training partners. Until recently, that included H, but I'm not really encouraging that at the moment! Then there is A, who is now my flatmate. She wanted to train so I started doing Saturday mornings with Rusty so that she could do that with me. I think she has been 3 times in the past 4 months... I go by myself! Most nights during the week she says she wants to go to the gym with me in the morning, but never gets up. This is a case of different priorities - she often works late, and often goes out for dinner etc. during the week. She needs someone to "make" her go, but unless she asks me to do that, I'm not going to push it. I don't like to inflict my obsessions onto other people unless they are willing :P

There are also a heap of people I know at the gym - some of them will ask where I was if I don't show up to a particular class. Another form of accountability! I love walking into a spin class and knowing at least half the class. This is why I love my gym - it's friendly and smaller than most FF, so you get to know people.

Tired tired tired

Have been training my arse off lately - 6 days a week of really intense sessions. After Saturday's PT session all I could do was lie on the floor breathing. Couldn't even stretch! Food has been pretty good, (but too much chocolate) and I've been averaging 0.5kg a week. If I cut out the chocolate imagine what could happen!

I have managed to kick the after dinner cravings. I've always known I'm not hungry, it has just been the little voice in my head telling me I want something sweet. And as I don't keep sweet things in the house, I usually end up with weetbix or something. For the past 2 weeks I have had my healthy dinner and then had a cup of tea while watching some TV or reading my book. When I go to bed I am no longer feeling full, and by the time I get home from the gym at 7.15am I am STARVING! Now if I could kick the 3pm "I need carbs" feeling I really will be kicking goals.

Today feeling really really tired. I have had a good dose of DOMS since Saturday's session, and I topped that up with spin this morning. My legs don't want to play anymore.

Went to a picnic on Saturday to raise money for Breast Cancer. We went all out with pink cup cakes, large pink cakes in the shape of boobs, pink tim tams (which actually aren't that great, by the way), biscuits with pink icing and lollies, marshmallows, slice... you name it, it was there. Totally ODed on sugar - my stamina is certainly not what it used to be. I woke up with a food hangover on Sunday. I'll post some photos when they pop up on Facebook - I didn't take any with my camera.

H came to the picnic and sat at one end of the picnic blanket with a heap of girls we didn't know, and discussed her liposuction (yep she had lipo), how much weight she has lost, her exercise and what she eats. I sat there with B and N astounded! Later in the day she had the same discussion she had with me, with N... and didn't seem to realise how she dominated the conversation all afternoon with the same kind of talk she was criticising us for.

She has also cancelled our Tuesday morning PT sessions. We share a session with Dan each week as it makes it alot cheaper for both of us, plus I usually enjoy it. She is claiming financial reasons, but I don't think she'll start Tuesdays again when she gets her finances sorted. She mentioned 2 other things... she HATES getting up for a 6am session and sees no need for it, and she doesn't think she gets the best results from sharing a session. I think that is because all the attention is not on her. I share all my sessions with other people - it is the only way I can afford to do 3 sessions a week.

So I rang Dan last night to have a chat to him about it. I didn't say much about H, as I don't want him caught in the middle. But I did say that I couldn't afford to train on my own long term. A week or two here and there is OK, but I can't do it every week. I have a PT budget and want to stretch it as far as I can. So, I had to break up with Dan. We had a good laugh over it, and he is not offended at all. I am now going to train with Rusty 3 times a week.

I am disappointed I won't be training with Dan, cause I really do enjoy our sessions. I'm going to have to make more of an effort to catch up with him for coffee regularly as he is one of my favourite people. I am not however, missing H. Strange - I'm not even upset about it. I kind of roll my eyes and move on! OK bitching session is over!

Goals Update

While the thought of running 42km scares me to death, the training scares me even more, which is why I have decided not to do the marathon. My body doesn't cope well with running high km every week - training for City2Surf proved that, and that was only a 12 week program.

To train for the marathon, I would have to increase my base km each week before even starting the 18km program. My body is not made for that, and I need to be realistic about it. The thought of the pain and risk of injury puts me off.

If Rusty and Dunc are going, then I will still go as a 'non-runner' and check it all out, plus we'll turn it into a proper holiday.

And as for running, I am going to work on improving my 10km times and do a few shorter races - Minimos is 10km, City2Surf 14km and the Bridge Run 9km.

Goals

I am a little daunted by this idea, but I think I'll do it anyway. In exactly 12 months time... New York Marathon.





Yep that's right. It doesn't have time limits so I can walk some of it and run as slow as I like. How cool would it be? I've never been to America, and would love to do something as fabulous as the NYC Marathon. So far, 3 of us are planning on going - the other two are experienced runners. Initially I enthusiastically offered to be their cheer squad, then they talked me into doing it.

Stuff

Last night I had a conversation with one of my best friends that has me thinking, and has me a little annoyed. Firstly a little background...

I met H through PT Dan almost 2 years ago at gym drinks and we had heaps in common. We go through weeks where we see each other almost every day, and then others not so much. We train together every Tuesday morning, and often go walking on the weekends, or I drop in for a cup of tea during the week. She has done the whole weight loss thing (from obese to super trim), and is generally pretty happy with where she is at - she has been at her goal weight for a year or two.

H is someone who is quite loud and likes to be centre of attention. She says things purely for shock value and doesn't think about how offensive it may be to people around her. She is also loads of fun and very amusing, and someone you can always count on to help you out when you need it - she's great, just not all the time! She also earns more than me, and eats more than me so I can't afford to go out for Tapas or something along those lines with her on a regular basis - either financially (she always splits the bill even though I eat half what she does), or calorie wise.

The last couple of weeks I have had a bit of ' time out' from H. She can be really over powering sometimes, and there's been a few occasions where we've been out, she's been drunk and has been so loud and offensive it has been embarrassing. At first it is funny, then it is just not. She also said something to one of my friends that was COMPLETELY inappropriate and has bothered him ever since. I haven't said anything, I've just kept myself busy as I thinks she is a great person - I just need a bit of a break. We invited her out for dinner Friday night but she didn't come as she had plans with people from work.

So last night I dropped around for a cup of tea as she said she needed to talk. Seems we both needed time out from each other. Her reasons were that I, along with our other 2 girlfriends, N and B, are always talking about food, exercise, training, weight loss etc and she doesn't like it. She has moved on and doesn't want to go back to having those conversations. She said I should eat what I want to eat as I train all the time, and that we should be going out on Friday nights drinking without worrying about what time I have to be up to go to the gym in the morning - as she doesn't want to hear about it.

This annoys me for two reasons. Firstly, H is the first one to mention how much weight she has lost or gained that week and what she is going to eat next. It is also how we all became friends in the first place - we're all on the same journey.

Secondly, I train 6-7 days a week and watch what I eat all the time, and therefore it is going to come up in conversation. B has just joined a new gym, found a personal trainer, started a new eating plan and has lost 5kg in about 4 weeks and is very close to her goal. That warrants conversation in my book. We all talk about what we've done for the week and what results (or lack of) we are getting - kind of like we do here. It is all information gathering, and we support each other in trying to reach a common goal. Yes I want to go out Friday night, eat dessert and drink til 3am, but I want to lose weight more. Therefore I make the choice not to go out late or drink when I am training the next day. And if I am paying for a PT session I am not going to do it with a hangover.

I listened to H's reasons and feelings and then said something along the lines of 'I understand how you feel and that you don't want to talk about it all the time - I acknowledge that. But, B, N and I will continue to talk about it all, as that is who we are.' Basically I don't think H can chose (or not chose) the topic of conversation like that when we all catch up. I didn't raise any of my issues as I didn't think it would achieve anything. H is the sort of person you can see on a Monday morning and she won't ask you how your weekend was - she'll just tell you about hers.

I still need time out.

Update

Sorry have been REALLY slack with the posting! Work has been crazy busy, I've moved house and have been to the gym every day (except Sunday) - there is just not enough hours in the day.

Here's a summary of my week:
• My couch wouldn't fit through the door in the new place so I left it on the side of the road for hard rubbish collection Monday AM. Someone left a note on our door saying we would be fined by body corporate if we didn't remove it immediately. I put a note on the couch saying 'rubbish collection booked'. They collected early Monday AM. Wednesday the real estate agent had a complaint from the body corporate about it. Get a life people!

• My washing machine wasn't picked up on Monday as booked (from Mum and Dads in Melbourne) When I rang courier they told me they don't do white goods (I told them it was a washing machine when I got a quote) - 5 days after I booked and paid for it. They took $5.50 of my money for the trouble.

• Carpet man made a mess in the bathroom of my old place so I had to pay $180 for a cleaner on Monday. He was also 1.5 hours late - which is why I paid him and left him to it. Mistake.

• The real estate agency for new place was bought by someone else before the lease was changed over, so we still don't have a lease in our names

• The bond people lost our bond transfer forms (after acknowledging receipt) so it is all still in previous psycho tenants name even though we paid it

• The night before last Harvey the Wonder Cat kept us all awake running around the apartment and meowing (he was better last night and the girls were really nice about it)

• This morning the top shelf in the fridge broke and all our bottles & milk etc came crashing to the floor. Can you believe the only thing that broke was the chocolate sauce from the Hunter Valley? It was all over the floor - broken glass and all.

So the neighbours hate us, the flatmates should hate me, we don't have a lease and no proof of bond payments and by the end of the week we will all smell as we won't have clean clothes.

I did manage to go to a friend's place on Sunday arvo to do a load of washing. Hopefully we will have a washing machine organised by Wednesday - we've decided to rent one for now.

So amongst all of that, I have managed to train my arse off at the gym. My body shape is changing - my legs and waist are smaller, but my hip area is bigger. Note to try cut down on the sugary carbs and see if that makes a difference. I have indulged in a little too much chocolate lately.

Given my crappy week, wine was required on Friday. Started with champagne at work (one of the girls is getting married this week) and followed that up with a few more drinks in the city with some girlfriends. Saturday morning PT session was a little tougher than usual :) Saturday arvo I frocked up and went to the races - more champagne!!!

So now that I have that out of my system I am once again on a mission to lose 4kg in 4 weeks. Plan of attack is:
Monday: Spin
Tuesday: PT weights
Wednesday: Spin
Thursday: Running - speed work
Friday: PT weights & cardio
Saturday: PT weights & cardio
Sunday: balance and walking

I'm going to cut out my morning snack, but add some fruit to breakfast and see what happens. Lunch and dinner as I have been doing, with a protein shake or strawberries, yogurt & protein crunch for afternoon snack. One of my friends has just done that for 4 weeks (under instruction from her PT) and she's done really really well. 4 weeks of no treat meals and no alcohol. Then the idea is that you re-introduce the treat meals etc. I know it will be tough, but I need to say "it's only 4 weeks". Just want to give my body a bit of a kick start into a new eating plan.

On track!

Loving the training this week and feeling good. Well, except for the fact that I can't lift my arms above my head, or even straighten them properly without feeling like I am doing some kind of intense stretch! Chin ups, chin ups and more chin ups this week (assisted of course, don't go getting excited!).

Eating has been pretty good. I have beaten the after dinner cravings by keeping myself busy... moving house does have it's benefits. I'm nearly done packing and have just a couple of trips to the rubbish room to get rid of all the crap I haven't used since the last time I moved. Didn't get lunch tim 3pm yesterday as I was in meetings all day, but managed to make a choice I was happy with... grilled chicken from Oporto. I did have a few chips, but was really proud that I didn't scoff a whole heap. And the chicken was goooooood.

Off to Melbourne in the morning. I'll be armed with my gym gear and a program for training at home - all body weight stuff and running. Back next Wednesday...