Feeling very blah today

I'm a bit of a sooky sooky la la today. Got upset yesterday and went home and ate chocolate and chips. I knew exactly what I was doing, and I didn't care. It is a very very long time since I have felt that way. I just didn't like myself enough to care.

My best (male) friend started seeing someone over Christmas. She is a great girl, I really like her and I think they are great together. However I never see him anymore. We've done a couple of things as a group, but nothing with just the two of us since before Christmas. We used to catch up for lunch or coffee a couple of times a week so I am really missing him. He always says we'll catch up then cancels with some excuse involving new girlfriend.

My friend and I have planned a weekend away in March - we are going to stay with my parents (this was planned before Christmas). I have really been looking forward to spending some time together. Then last night he says, 'girlfriend' is a bit upset that she wasn't invited. Can she come?

Am I being selfish by just wanting to spend time with my friend? If we all go then I am going to feel like the very single, third wheel.... in my own home (well, where I grew up) and I will hate it. For example we all went kayaking a couple of weeks ago... them in a double and me all by myself in a single paddling twice as fast to keep up. Fun, but not so fun at the same time.

Obvioulsy I need to talk to him about how I am feeling. But I'm not sure how to handle it. I don't want to come across all sulky and selfish, but that's how I feel. I really hate it when people dump their friends for a relationship - and this is what has happened to me, yet again!

So you see I am feeling crap. This friend has been a huge support and influence in my weight loss journey. There are times when I have thought that I couldn't do it without him, but as I have seen less and less of him over the past few months I have learnt that I CAN do it on my own. It is all up to me and I can do this. So last night's chip and chocolate fest is behind me. I am sitting here drinking my green tea and today is a new day. I'm still not sure what I am going to do about our weekend in Melbourne, but I will be skinnier for it - so no more chips and chocolate!