Stuff that is in my head

It is only 3 weeks til City to Surf. Arrrgghhhh! I realised that yesterday and got butterflies in my tummy. There have been so many early mornings, so many kms, so many hills and so many moments when I wanted to give up (followed by those where I wanted to vomit!). I think that moment when I cross the finish line will be emotional. I think there will be tears.

We did hill training again this morning. There are some very steep hills around North Sydney and Kirribilli let me tell you. I used to think running all the way up Walker St was tough - that's the easy bit! Doing those hills got me thinking. I used to run from my old place in Crows Nest to the gym in North Sydney. It was mostly downhill, with a little bit of up. I used to find that hard, and the first time I ran all the way I was very excited. Now that's my warm up!

I am still the slowest of the running group. But that doesn't matter. I thought it would - even though I am always last! But I have come to a realisation in my quest for fitness. I used to think that "fit people" would look at me, see me struggle up a hill and think "gee, she's unfit - or overweight" - *insert any other negative thought here* But it is not like that at all. You see people who are not as fit as you (I see them, even if they're not in my running group) and you admire them for getting out and giving it a go. They have set themselves goals and they are working hard to achieve them. Just like everybody else getting out there and doing it.

I used to have similar thoughts about the type of people I was friends with. Most of my Sydney friends are personal trainers or fellow gym junkies. If you had told me twelve months ago that I would be spending my time with spunky, fit, hot PT boys I would have thought you were crazy. Why would they want to be friends with someone like me? Well the answer is, because we have things in common. They are normal people just like everybody else. They have big nights out, they eat the odd takeaway or chocolate, they have days where they don't feel like training, they get bored on the treadmill too. People think that there is a level of discrimintation against fat people. But I think us *former* fatties have the same discrimination - well at least I did. I used to be judgemental about fit people.

The answer in bridging the gap between fit people and fat people is just giving it a go. I sometimes run on a treadmill with one of my friends who is a PT - not as a training session, just because we both work harder when there is someone else there. I might run on level 8 or 9 - he'll be running on 14 or 15 (or up to 18!). But it doesn't matter because I am working just as hard as he is. The level of effort is the same. And that's what counts.