Stuff

Last night I had a conversation with one of my best friends that has me thinking, and has me a little annoyed. Firstly a little background...

I met H through PT Dan almost 2 years ago at gym drinks and we had heaps in common. We go through weeks where we see each other almost every day, and then others not so much. We train together every Tuesday morning, and often go walking on the weekends, or I drop in for a cup of tea during the week. She has done the whole weight loss thing (from obese to super trim), and is generally pretty happy with where she is at - she has been at her goal weight for a year or two.

H is someone who is quite loud and likes to be centre of attention. She says things purely for shock value and doesn't think about how offensive it may be to people around her. She is also loads of fun and very amusing, and someone you can always count on to help you out when you need it - she's great, just not all the time! She also earns more than me, and eats more than me so I can't afford to go out for Tapas or something along those lines with her on a regular basis - either financially (she always splits the bill even though I eat half what she does), or calorie wise.

The last couple of weeks I have had a bit of ' time out' from H. She can be really over powering sometimes, and there's been a few occasions where we've been out, she's been drunk and has been so loud and offensive it has been embarrassing. At first it is funny, then it is just not. She also said something to one of my friends that was COMPLETELY inappropriate and has bothered him ever since. I haven't said anything, I've just kept myself busy as I thinks she is a great person - I just need a bit of a break. We invited her out for dinner Friday night but she didn't come as she had plans with people from work.

So last night I dropped around for a cup of tea as she said she needed to talk. Seems we both needed time out from each other. Her reasons were that I, along with our other 2 girlfriends, N and B, are always talking about food, exercise, training, weight loss etc and she doesn't like it. She has moved on and doesn't want to go back to having those conversations. She said I should eat what I want to eat as I train all the time, and that we should be going out on Friday nights drinking without worrying about what time I have to be up to go to the gym in the morning - as she doesn't want to hear about it.

This annoys me for two reasons. Firstly, H is the first one to mention how much weight she has lost or gained that week and what she is going to eat next. It is also how we all became friends in the first place - we're all on the same journey.

Secondly, I train 6-7 days a week and watch what I eat all the time, and therefore it is going to come up in conversation. B has just joined a new gym, found a personal trainer, started a new eating plan and has lost 5kg in about 4 weeks and is very close to her goal. That warrants conversation in my book. We all talk about what we've done for the week and what results (or lack of) we are getting - kind of like we do here. It is all information gathering, and we support each other in trying to reach a common goal. Yes I want to go out Friday night, eat dessert and drink til 3am, but I want to lose weight more. Therefore I make the choice not to go out late or drink when I am training the next day. And if I am paying for a PT session I am not going to do it with a hangover.

I listened to H's reasons and feelings and then said something along the lines of 'I understand how you feel and that you don't want to talk about it all the time - I acknowledge that. But, B, N and I will continue to talk about it all, as that is who we are.' Basically I don't think H can chose (or not chose) the topic of conversation like that when we all catch up. I didn't raise any of my issues as I didn't think it would achieve anything. H is the sort of person you can see on a Monday morning and she won't ask you how your weekend was - she'll just tell you about hers.

I still need time out.