OK I need some advice! Here's the background...
- My (male) best friend and I have been planning to go to New York & Chicago later this year. He's going to run the NY marathon, and then we're going to stay with my brother in Chicago for a few days. We haven't booked, but have checked out flights, found accommodation (twin room), have a list of things we want to do in NY and just have to sort out annual leave.
- Having breakfast on Saturday morning, we're having a casual chat about Broadway shows, baseball, ice hockey - all the things we want to do. I ask him if he has told CG (his "casual" girlfriend). He says yes... she's interested in coming.
A little shocked, I ask how he feels about that (he's not sure) and then we move on to other stuff. I needed to process this information.
I don't want to go on a holiday with a couple. It would be OK if someone else was coming too, but not just the three of us. Is that normal? Am I just being a sooky single person?
I also can't afford to stay in a hotel by myself, and I am way over dorm accommodation.
I went over to his place Saturday night, planning to tell him something along the lines of "If you and CG want to have a holiday together, then go for it. It's nothing personal, but I don't want to go on a holiday with a couple - it wouldn't matter who it was"
Problem was his flat mate was there, so there wasn't an opportunity to chat. I still think I need to have the same conversation. I'm disappointed as I was really looking forward to NY and seeing my brother. I think I'll just save my $$ and annual leave and go somewhere next year. I don't want to do NY on my own, and I don't want to just go to Chicago.
Option 1: Inca Trail & Galapagos Islands
Option 2: Tanzania and Kenya
If anyone has any feedback or suggestions on this feel free to leave a comment xx
About Me
- emharvie
- Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
- Over the past 2 years I have gone from fat and lazy to exercise obsessed and still on a mission to shift the last of the unwanted fat. This blog is the diary of my journey - usually just a dump of what is on my mind... I am still surprised when people read it! You can email me at emh_1977@hotmail.com
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7 comments:
I don't know the dynamic between the three of you, but I would never, ever travel with a couple. I hate being the third wheel. I think you should save up seeing New York for when you can enjoy it with a friend or "someone special". That's my two cents.
I went travelling with two girlfriends, who were better friends with each other than with me, and they spent the entire time fighting with each other, coming to me for support, putting me in the middle of their arguments, and then ignoring me when they'd made it up.
Screams gooseberry to me. Did you want me to be that honest??
I think it would be different had you planned all along that three of you would go - as you would already have your head around the dynamics.
But to have to get your head around it at this stage of the play, I'm not seeing a happy outcome.
I've never been to NY - really want to (relax that's not a hint. har har) but I think it is a place you must 'own' your plans and also a bit of fun is had in the planning. I couldn't imagine doing NY with a couple, even a 'casual' couple at that.
Perhaps he can take his girl back there for a 'couple' holiday.....work on suggesting that one.
Both the other option sound like you.........flush toilets or no flush toilets!!
shona xox
you're not weird for not wanting to be a "third wheel" on a holiday that you've organised.
Just raise it gently and explain how you feel.
Nooooo, he can't just say "she is thinking of coming". Does that mean he's invited her? He can NOT invite her along to something that's pre-arranged.
Men are idiots sometimes.
You need to spell it out in black and white for him. It's NOT a couples thing its a MATES thing.
Gawd.
Just tell him two's company and three's a crowd... you can do better!
option one! galapogos islands ooh my god.. beautiful!!!!!
I totally understand - you're not weird - and yes, you should tell him. Earlier this year my colleague (male) and I were heading to Brisbane for a conference for a few days, when he mentioned his wife might be coming. Don't mind his wife coming, as long as my hubby's coming too - otherwise I would feel like a third wheel - in a strange place on my own. When its just the two of you, you automaticaly do things together - with a "significant other" around it changes everything.
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